First Friends

Sam is two and a half. He is desperately seeking friendship with anyone who will give him attention. He is great friends with Johnny. Johnny often does naughty things though and my Sam is left wondering how long he must sit in the corner. Johnny also calls my house. The phone may ring no short of 15 times in the morning. Sometimes Sam talks to Johnny and sometimes I do. Johnny is also blamed for some accidents around the house. This morning Erik trekked dirt in after uprooting a tree for me. Sam was convinced it was Johnny and we had to call him and scold him. Johnny also peed on the bathroom wall today. A few days ago Sam was crying because Johnny was stuck in the mud. I have never met Johnny (neither has my son). He is a figment of Sam's imagination.

Most of Sam's "friends" are cousins that he deeply adores, his baby sister who he calls his best friend or babies Shiloh's age that we hang out with at play group. He does have one real friendship. Ella. Ella is the same age as Sam, and they have known each other since they were babies. Up until recently, play dates with Ella were for the sake of Ella's mom and I having a visit. Sam and Ella would play in the same room but not really together. In the last 6 months something has happened and my son has made a real friend. Watching Sam and Ella play is one of my favourite things to do. They have different interests and different paces (Ella never stops running and Sam is a slower kind of kid). They have to negotiate what and where they will play, and who will eat what at snack time. The neat thing about Sam and Ella is that they always figure things out on their own. One will grab the others hand and guide them towards their next destination. They never fight, and they always hug and kiss goodbye. The development of this friendship is one of the neatest things I have seen evolve. Sadly, Ella does not live close by so we see her only once a week. Today when I put Sam down for a nap, he asked to give thanks for something (a tradition we started a while ago) and he came out with "playing and running and swinging with Ella...I wish I could play with her everyday mommy". My heart broke a little bit.

Now that Sam knows the joys of playing with a real friend, he is often left longing for one. If we go to the park, he will ask "but who will be my friend mommy?" Or god forbid, if Ella doesn't come to play group he will cry because he "has no friends".

Yesterday a boy appeared in our back yard and played with Sam for over an hour. Sam was so delighted, I could hear him squealing and giggling and repeating everything this boy said. It turns out the kid was 6 years old and had had a fight with his brothers so was looking for anyone else to play with, or just a place to hide. Sam has been asking all day "where my friend go?" Again, my heart breaks.

I am stuck wishing there was a local catalogue where I could order up 2 of the cutest local 2 year olds to come over and complete the 3 amigos with my kid.