Don’t Bump the GRUMP!!! (and other stories from the Gitter House)

Seriously, I don't know what has happened to me, but am I ever pissed off. Sorry for the profanity, but that is the only way to describe it, actually a few more expletives would greater describe it….but I am trying to tone it down.

I don't know whether it is hormones, stress at the prospect of returning to work in two weeks, or just plain irritation but man you do not want to be in my company these days.

Yesterday Sam asked me about 10 times why I was mad at him, before finally delving into a mood to match my own. It seems every time Shiloh looks at me and says "mama" in that sweet little low voice of hers she is really saying "hey b$@&H, why are you leaving me, you must not love me….boy are you going to pay for this".

GUILT, it is the motherhood curse. Guilt because we don't spend enough time with our kids, guilt b/c we have spent too much time playing and not enough time cleaning, guilt b/c we need our husbands help in a way our mothers never did, guilt because we don't make enough money and now guilt because we choose to go back to work and make money instead of spending time with our babies. Yikes, this is pretty heavy isn't it? Well, no shit it is on my shoulders and it feels like a small house.

Well, I have found a solution to the funk I am in. I bought myself a new, rather large bottle of Kahlua, 4L of milk and I know there is some vodka in the cupboard. Today, I am too busy to pay proper attention to the bottle of Kahlua. But tomorrow….ahhh tomorrow I have big plans for that bottle. Just talking about it seems like a small part of that heavy house has lifted off my shoulders.

Ahhhh, who needs a shrink when you have a bottle of booze? Here is to no more "no good very bad days".

Cheers to that!

First Friends

Sam is two and a half. He is desperately seeking friendship with anyone who will give him attention. He is great friends with Johnny. Johnny often does naughty things though and my Sam is left wondering how long he must sit in the corner. Johnny also calls my house. The phone may ring no short of 15 times in the morning. Sometimes Sam talks to Johnny and sometimes I do. Johnny is also blamed for some accidents around the house. This morning Erik trekked dirt in after uprooting a tree for me. Sam was convinced it was Johnny and we had to call him and scold him. Johnny also peed on the bathroom wall today. A few days ago Sam was crying because Johnny was stuck in the mud. I have never met Johnny (neither has my son). He is a figment of Sam's imagination.

Most of Sam's "friends" are cousins that he deeply adores, his baby sister who he calls his best friend or babies Shiloh's age that we hang out with at play group. He does have one real friendship. Ella. Ella is the same age as Sam, and they have known each other since they were babies. Up until recently, play dates with Ella were for the sake of Ella's mom and I having a visit. Sam and Ella would play in the same room but not really together. In the last 6 months something has happened and my son has made a real friend. Watching Sam and Ella play is one of my favourite things to do. They have different interests and different paces (Ella never stops running and Sam is a slower kind of kid). They have to negotiate what and where they will play, and who will eat what at snack time. The neat thing about Sam and Ella is that they always figure things out on their own. One will grab the others hand and guide them towards their next destination. They never fight, and they always hug and kiss goodbye. The development of this friendship is one of the neatest things I have seen evolve. Sadly, Ella does not live close by so we see her only once a week. Today when I put Sam down for a nap, he asked to give thanks for something (a tradition we started a while ago) and he came out with "playing and running and swinging with Ella...I wish I could play with her everyday mommy". My heart broke a little bit.

Now that Sam knows the joys of playing with a real friend, he is often left longing for one. If we go to the park, he will ask "but who will be my friend mommy?" Or god forbid, if Ella doesn't come to play group he will cry because he "has no friends".

Yesterday a boy appeared in our back yard and played with Sam for over an hour. Sam was so delighted, I could hear him squealing and giggling and repeating everything this boy said. It turns out the kid was 6 years old and had had a fight with his brothers so was looking for anyone else to play with, or just a place to hide. Sam has been asking all day "where my friend go?" Again, my heart breaks.

I am stuck wishing there was a local catalogue where I could order up 2 of the cutest local 2 year olds to come over and complete the 3 amigos with my kid.

A shout out to moms

Tomorrow will be my 3^rd Mothers Day. Since becoming a mom I have become more appreciative of the crap I put my own mom through. Sadly, my mom had to wait 31 years for me to conceive so I could finally realize how much she must love me and in turn how much I appreciate her. My kids are still young, but I assume your love for your kids doesn't diminish with time, I certainly hope not. The thing that keeps me awake some nights is that I am pretty sure my kids are as in love with me now as they will ever be, at least until that have kids of their own. It is likely that their love...infatuation...trust....for me will gradually decrease each year until they hit puberty at which point it will plunge and stay at sub zero levels until they finally reproduce and fall in love with their own children. I will likely be 65.

Somehow I know that my children will blame me for all the ways I didn't provide for them, the things I didn't buy them and the parties I didn't let them attend. I am not sure they will blame their dad. It seems to be a common phenomenon that kids remember limits their mothers have saddled them with and the strength their fathers have provided. I have said before that my Sam is a mama's boy, Shiloh is 8 months old and nursing so it is pretty clear where her bread is buttered. Sometimes I feel sorry for Erik, knowing that I have my kids wrapped right now....but I am sure that that will all change sometime after age 5.

As I grow older I hear my mom's voice in my own more and more and I no longer cringe. I look at what she did for my brother and I when we were kids and I hope I can give even half that much to my own kids. Every day I need Erik's help, and I realize how my mom did it all by herself: the driving, the cooking, the cleaning, the worrying....all of it.

As we celebrate Mothers Day tomorrow remember your mom not just with a card and plant but a heartfelt thank you for the love and life she has given you and the things she unquestionably gave up for you along the way.

To all those not drinking out of a Sippy cup....I say bottoms up, Cheers to MOM!

My kids love....

Sam loves...

• to wear his work gloves for working, for soccer, football and any other sport
  
• to build horsie gates and feed the bulls and cows
  
• to play hockey with the red stick
  
• basketball but only if you stand up
  
• bedtime stories
  
• the colours pink and red
  
• pinching....(his word for punching....what seeing an UFC commercial will do to a kid)
  
• green blankie (this should be number one)
  
• peeing outside
  
• Ella
  
• once upon a time stories
  
• singing Christmas songs all year long
  

 
Shiloh loves...

• chewing on her pink shoes
  
• chewing on the strings of my hoodie
  
• cuddling around 3am
  
• the mirror in the car
  
• signing "all done" and clapping
  
• giving kisses
  
• zurberting the leather furniture to make loud farting noises
  
• bath time
  

 
I love....

• my family :)
  

 

Gender Games

My name is Billie, after my dad. Growing up I got my fare share of people who thought I was, or should be a boy. From time to time we get mail to Mr. and Mr. Gitter. Perhaps that is why I am a little sensitive when it comes to people mixing up my kids' gender.

Regardless of how a kid looks you would think that gender specific clothes would help identify whether your kids is a he or a she. To me, my Sam looks like a boy, has boy mannerisms and most days can be found wearing some sort of football/ basketball/baseball shirt and cap combo. Why is it then that I seem to be getting more and more "she is soo pretty" and "what is her name?". I actually had one lady last week tell me how cute she was when referring to Sam and then asked Sam what his baby brothers name was. I believe Shiloh has one red shirt and one blue one; other than that they are all pink. She has 3-4 pink coats and at least that many pink shoes and almost always wears a barrette in her hair. There must be a lot of color blind old folks out there to justify the number who call her a he. I get that if we strip a bunch of 8 month olds down to their diapers it might be difficult to tell the he's from the she's, but I take my kids out fully clothed.

I have zero qualms if someday my kids want to decide that they really belong to the opposite gender. But for now, lets' not freak a little boy out by referring to him as a girl. Blue hat with shark, green football sweater, long red shorts and running shoes....most times means boy.

PS. Just so you know, my bright, funny little boy corrected the old lady by telling her that "I not a girl, I have a penis". Good for you Sam!!!

Bring back the rock...

While my son truly is a mama's boy, if you spend a few minutes with our family you will quickly see who has the greatest influence over his behaviour. Dad. Sam mimics the way Erik stands, how his hands hold his head at the dinner table, unfortunately how he dances and last but certainly not least how he talks. From sports throw downs to everyday lingo my kid is picking up all the "daddyisms".

Sam has announced in public that "he has to go lay a big turd" , nice. At least once a day he moons me. Erik has already been lamenting how Sam is ruining all his fun, as he has to give up all of his bad habits. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised with what he said to be in the grocery store check out.

Sam, Shiloh and I had made a trip into the city to shop, it had been a long day and his behaviour had been less than stellar. I had both him and Shi in the cart as we went through the checkout so I didn't have to chase him around. I was staring off into space, likely imagining the big class of wine I wanted to drink when I got home, when a little hand reached out honked my right breast and I heard my Sam say "Hey Babes!". I turned to look at him and ask him what he had just done but I was having considerable trouble keeping the smile off my face. The young man behind me thought it the funniest thing and Sam knew that he had a winner. I now have to be careful to stay at least 2 feet away to save myself from the honk. He has replaced mommy for babes....we are going to have to have a talk.

Amused

What is it that kids can be amused with a bucket of water for hours? I have a house full of toys, about 200 books and give Sam a bucket of water and free rein to water all my plants, mix the soil from my plants to make soup and then "wash" the deck and patio furniture...the kid is entertained for the day.

Shiloh's current toy of choice is some extra chain from a light fixture. It makes a great noise when smashed on the tile floor, is cool on the gums and easy to wrap her little fingers into. She also likes dog food, but not for entertainment.

I am beginning to think I should get into business making new kids toys.